2023 minus 1943 is 80

Stops Along the Way

In 1943, my mother-in-law was set to attend a party on New Year’s Eve but spent the evening in a hospital delivery room instead. It was never clear to me that she truly forgave my husband for his impatient entry into the world.

Bruce and I were married in 1971 and two hours later we had two grown children. An hour after that we had two grandchildren. Bruce’s curls had given way to a bald patch and my hair was white as a swan’s feathers.  Then, suddenly we were sitting with the financial planner figuring out retirement. Sometimes it feels like that. Bruce went from what my father was given to calling young men—a ‘hairy-arsed youth’—to being nearly 80 years of age in a blink. Said planner was assuring us that his calculations would see us through to the end of plan. In other words, and not to put too fine a point on the matter, the time when our heirs would have full access to our supposedly sufficient assets.

This year Bruce is set to celebrate his 80 years on this earth on New Year’s Eve. Since those big birthdays celebrated after the age of fifty and beyond tend to be wonderfully liberating, this one should be a blow out. Like all milestone birthdays it calls for some consideration of the number and what it means.

Many of the big advancements that have changed the world in the ‘Bruce’ era are related to electronics. We are now all familiar with and often frustrated by the devices when using them. It wasn’t always thus for our generation. The world-wide-web grew up under our gaze and we can claim to be there at its inception. Bruce had taken up his first job at Massey University in Palmerston North when we met. On an early date  he took me to see the university computer system which was housed in its own room and appeared to me then as nothing more than a mysterious piece of furniture. Bruce wanted to check in some cards on which he’d entered data so it could be crunched that night. He could have the information back by the morning. I married him despite this rather original outing.

 The number itself, 80, has a pleasantly round feel when you look at it, particularly if it is your diastolic blood pressure reading. (That is the one between the beats of your heart.)  Bruce is lucky to have that normal reading. Among other things, it means he still powers along with his compelling interest in genetics. He is not much slower than he was in the beginning days of the computer when it was a large, clunky invention that now feels absurdly slow, not to mention quaint.

As in all eras, you tend to look around for the giants and idols of the age. There are many about. My favourite happens to be Willie Nelson. He is still writing songs, touring and singing at 87 years as enthusiastically as when he started. I fell in love with him at a concert before he was 80. That’s a real something.

We had a long-time and loved friend who has now passed on. Bob and Bruce started as graduate school buddies and drank Scotch together at birthdays and wedding anniversaries and events in between. At such moments and even some that did not arise at all, Bob would raise his glass and with reference to the family’s Scottish heritage say, “Lang mae your lum reek.”

Long may your chimney smoke—offered initially as a blessing when someone moves into a new house. It’s also become a wish for good luck in all its forms.

“Lang mae your lum reek” is what our family will be saying New Year’s Eve 2023 to Bruce when he officially enters his 9^th decade. But it is a blessing we wish for all our friends for 2024 and beyond—those we know of long standing and those we haven’t met yet.

Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Bruce.